Insert Extremely Cheesy Title for a Warriors Spoof
by Shadows of a Weeping Willow
Summary: Inspired by Lets Torture Warriors! A dare show with short stories thrown in. Please submit dares and story ideas!
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya people who stumbled upon this spoof out of pure chance, I'm Shadows of a Weeping Willow, or Shadowwillow/ Shadow. Some of you guys may know me from Warrior Forums, but most likely not. Anyways, I was pretty upset that **_**Let's Torture Warriors**_** pretty much stopped, so I decided to use what little writing knowledge and stiff humor I have to try and write one myself! Review and rate if you want, not that this comment would make any more of you readers review any more **

_**(AN: I revised it again so you guys may be a little happier with the grammar and "descriptiveness")**_

_A large banner falls from the sky, and camera follows its descent. Three cats can be seen in the background, scurrying around, carrying boxes labeled " Fragile." Banner finally ends its descent, and lands on the two cats, resulting in a crash, girly scream, and a stifled laugh from a camera cat_

A jet black cat with green eyes: Hawkheart! I thought that the banner would be delivered when the camera starts rolling! Why did it fall from the sky?

A light red tabby with amber eyes: (who screamed) I did, Shadowwing! And it was supposed to look _cool_ when it was delivered, so I told the banner company to drop it like that.

Shadowwing: You're hopeless Hawky! (examines the banner, and notices that it says "spoof warriors a for name cheesy extremely insert" on it) They even delivered it with the words backwards!

Hawkheart: I told them to do that too (he grins, showing off his pointy teeth to her)

Shadowwing: (groans, then turns to a gray tabby with white eyes) Songpaw! Give our little Hawky a lesson will you?

Songpaw: (grins devilishly and looks up from his work. Suddenly he notices that the camera is on) Sure thing, but the audience can see everything. (points a paw at the camera)

Shadowwing: (facepaws) Right! So um…. Welcome to….! Drumroll please!

Hawkheart: (rolls eyes the pulls out a drum from a box, despite its tattered and brokenness) Ok… (rolls drum down the hill)

Shadowwing: Insertextremelycheesynameforawarriorsspoofhere! Also known as IECNFAWS! Yay!

Hawkheart: (rolls eyes again) Or you can just call it Insert.

Shadowwing: As you can tell from the authors note—

Hawkwing: Le gasp! Shadow broke the fourth wall!

Shadowwing: - this will be a spoof modeled after the inspiration of _Lets Torture Warriors_, but we will be doing something different.

Hawkwing: (returns to serious tone) At the end of each spoofy epicsode, we will be including a special short story that you fans suggest! Also, you guys can suggest dare ideas too.

Shadowwing: So, if you guys have any ideas for dares, please feel free to ask. So… Hawkwing? Shall we go into the studio? We'll start with the first story.

_And so, the _Insert _cast walk back into the studio. THE END!_

Shadowwing: Shut up Tigerpaw! We don't need a darn narrator! Just read the stupid story!

_Ok! Ok! Geez…_

_**Enjoy the story!**_

_Rusty yawned, and stretched, putting one forepaw in front of the other, and let his senses search for anything suspicious. Despite being a small kit, Rusty's senses were far beyond his age, or so he thought. An undetected shadow loomed over him; he slowly turned around, shrinking into his fur. From the corner of his eye, he knew what the monster was. _It was his worst nightmare.

_The monster's lips curled up slightly, and advanced towards Rusty. He knew what to do. _

"_Mommy! Princess is bullying me again!" Rusty wailed, and sprinted into his mother's bed._

"_I was not bullying you!" Princess retorted._

"_Was too!"_

"_Was not!" _

"_Was _too!_"_

_And so, the battle of the siblings continued, until their mother had enough._

"_Rusty! Princess! Be nice to each other!" their mother snarled._

_Rusty fell out of his mother's bed with a _"thunk!" _and Princess blinked. This was the first time their mother lost her temper after witnessing one of their hundred daily acts._

_The siblings quickly apologized, and the mother smiled. "Go along kits. This may be one of the last times you will be together."_

_Rusty blinked, and then turned to Princess. She did likewise. They asked for further explanation._

_ "It doesn't matter for now. You'll find out soon. Just remember, the two of you are connected by blood. Even if you guys someday will be on the opposite side of the world, never forget those that are close to you._

Firestar softly smiled. Even after his death, Firestar knew that he would never forget those who were still on Earth, and will watch over them for the rest of eternity.

**Cheesy and horribly written, right? I just need to upload something; otherwise I will feel like a sort of noob :P Please suggest dares and short stories!**

**Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2: The actual Beginning

**Hello guys! This chappy is dedicated to WoodWad who was my first reviewer! Thanks buddy!**

**Let's see if my humor can amuse any of you guys. :P**

**Sorry for forgetting the disclaimer: **_**If **_**Warriors**_** is mine, then I'm a llama (which I am not) **_

_Lights come on and focus on the center of the stage. Three cats appear._

Shadowwing: Welcome back to…

ALL: Insert!

Hawkheart: Also known as Insertextremelycheesynameforawarriorsspoofhere!

Shadowwing: (slaps him with a fish)

Hawkheart: (gets hit on the back of the head, then face plats onto the stage.)

Songpaw: (clears throat, and in a quiet voice) As you may see, we are in the Insert studio, for the first time.

Shadowwing: We will give you guys a tour around in the next epicsode if we hit five reviews-

Hawkheart: Le gasp! Shadow broke the fourth wall again!

Shadowwing: (hits him again with fish)

Hawkheart: (falls face first into conveniently placed cage and faints)

Shadowwing: (smirks) Anyone else want to interrupt me?

Crickets outside: (chirps)

Shadowwing: Good. Now back to business. So, we shall move on to our awesomely planned at the last minute dare!

Songpaw: (walks over to Hawkheart and kicks him)

Hawkheart: (winces and pulls a slip of paper out of his ear) I'm magical. Don't ask.

Songpaw: (rolls eyes and walks over to Shadow)

Shadowwing: (as she unrolls paper ) Ok. So the dare, made by the awesome me, says: "Bramblestar gets a day off, and Cloudtail is made leader." Songpaw? Please do the honors.

Songpaw: (nods, then takes out a remote that says, "Dare to Action". He presses it.)

Shadowwing: Here we go… (a giant flat screen TV appears, and on the screen: )

_**In Thunderclan:**_

Cloudtail: Hm… So it seems like I'm the leader for a day…

Bramblestar: Yep. (appears lugging a huge suitcase) I'm leaving now, to Miami for a day. Buh-bye!

Everybody else: (gapes at him as he disappears into the forest, then turns to Cloud with wide eyes)

Cloudtail: Well, since I'm leader, then everything I say is law, right? So… (creepily grins) Time for the fun!

_**A few hours later...**_

Bramblestar: (returns, then sees all of the fainted cats on the floor, and an overly large castle) Hmm… Seems like Cloudy likes fantasy… (enters castle, and sees a large pile of white cat hair in the middle of the room. He pokes it with a paw) Seems like someone (*cough* Cloudtail *cough*) shaved. It seems fresh, because it's-

Pile of cat hair: (randomly explodes, sending Bramblestar flying into a room)

Bramblestar: (hits a squishy thing) Bah! ( turns around slowly and sees a familiar face)

Pink blob: Welcome home, _Bramblestar_.

Bramblestar: (blinks) Erm… It seems that you've grown a lot of weight…

Cloudtail: Yup. I told my sla—erm _warriors_- to catch a truckloa- erm _some-_ food for me. Now, I feel like exploding.

Bramblestar: Exploding… Did you check what they gave you to eat?

Cloudtail: No… Why? (*_beep beep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep!*)_

_**Inside the studio:**_

Shadowwing: I think I know what's going to happen…(explosion sounds within TV) Yup…

Songpaw: (notices that the TV has gone static) Looks like we need to repair some stuff… In the meanwhile, enjoy the story… Hit it Redpaw!

_All right! :D_

_**Ok. Here's the story. It'll be a two part oneshot, this being the first. Based off of random thinking in bed the other night. Call it , "Life".**_

_Life. Such a simple word, yet it is responsible for the very existence of billions of animals. As I lay in my deathbed, with my offspring crowding around me, I wonder, just what is this thing called, "Life"?_

_As a kit, I had always assumed that life was a gift from Starclan. They give us this chance at existing, to learn, to experience. But, why is that? Does Starclan have a secret reason hidden behind all of their whispers of good fortune and future, a reason to grow such experiences and feelings that can only be developed through "Life"?_

"Mother," my kit Ferndapple mews, jolting me out of my thoughts, "are you really satisfied with your life? Have you really had enough experiences that could be 'harvested' by the spirits that watch over you?"

I nod slowly, my voice gone after moons. This old body has no more use, but these experiences could be used by Starclan to ensure the safety of future generations.

_However, as I grew older, and slowly developed into an adult cat, these thoughts of "Life" slowly grew, and I decided to search for the true meaning behind of it. I left my clan, and some of the old customs engrained into my mind, and wandered hundreds of miles, searching for a meaning. I met new friends, new enemies, and had a mate and a wonderful kit. But all of these experiences led back to one answer: "Life is used to harvest experiences"._

_But I knew there was something else. Why couldn't Starclan just experience it themselves? Why grant all of these lives, only to be snatched away again, to suffer loneliness in the stars, forever searching for loved ones, but to little or no avail?_

_Again, I left my family for a short period of time, and searched some more. Why is there such thing as "Life"? Why is it that "Life" is so short, even though it could be extended for more gathering of experiences? For the rest of the living to learn from the past lives, to adapt, to grow? Why is that? _

_Most of all, why are there no answers to questions like these? Why is Starclan keeping all of these secrets to themselves? _

_Why? _

_Why? _

_Why?_

_Even though I travelled all of my life, searching for answers to such simple questions, I never found any answers. _

But, that is of no matter for now. I need to spend these last few moments with my family.

I manage to pull myself up, with my mate and Ferndapple on either side of me, and hobbled outside. I breathed in the fresh morning air, slightly scented with flowers, and moist from the morning dew. I turn and smile back towards my den, a neatly carved hole within a few rocks, most likely from the riverbed that dried hundreds of years ago. Yes. It is time for me to rest, for now.

**Woot! 1,000+ words! Most I've even typed in one document! :P**

**Please suggest stories and dares! Thanks again to WoodWad!**


	3. Chapter 3: Double Dare! But No Story?

**Thanks for all of the reviews/ following/favorites! Also, thanks for those of you guys sticking with me despite my horrid humor and extreme explosions of Cloudtail! The dares that you guys gave me are pretty good; however, they are not exactly what I am looking for. Example, "Firestar has to announce to everyone at the gathering that he loves Jayfeather's stick, and then kiss it." Or something like that. Also, the story ideas are best if they could be on a more serious tone, so I can try and improve skills. Sorry for not explaining properly. So, here it goes!**

_Lights come up, and points to the stage. Four cats could be seen. Also, there seems to be a puny, sorry looking audience with bored faces._

**Shadowwing:** Welcome back to….

**ALL including audience:** Insert!

**Hawkheart:** Also known as Insertextremelychee—

**Shadowing:** (slaps with a fish)

**Hawkheart:** (Creates a domino effect, knocking over Songpaw and the unknown cat) Hey! Are you going to do that every single time with a fish?

**Shadowwing:** (rolls eyes, then throws a shoe at him)

**Hawkheart:** (gets hit, and is knocked out cold)

**Shadowwing:** Finally! So anyways, since we hit six reviews, I'll so you around this small studio, which probably will get renovated soon. (turns to rest of the cast) You guys can stay here and watch over Hawkheart. When he wakes up, hit him with my fish. (hands the fish to Songpaw)

_Alright. I'll (Redpaw the narrator/ camera cat) show you guys around. Backstage is the main attraction. So, there are changing rooms for each cast member, and a few guest changing rooms beside it. There is a meeting room down the hallway to the furthest left, as well as an armory for Songpaw. (no clue why) The electronics room is down the hallway to the right, as well as a dining hall, and Shadowwing's secret stash of fish. _(**Shadowwing:** Hey!) _And so, that's pretty much it. But, stuff _does_ appear out of nowhere from time to time, so yah. Use your imagination, folks! _

**Shadowwing:** Yah, yah. So, now onto the dares. Today, we have a guest for the dare. This is Milkytail, folks!

**Audience:** (claps)

**Shadowwing:** And so, for the dare.

**Hawkheart:** (takes out a piece of paper, and throws at Shadow. Then manages to steal fish from Songpaw's grasp, and started to hit him) YOU! HOW DARE YOU HIT ME WITH THAT FISH? I'M YOUR DAD FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE!

**Shadowwing:** (clears throat) Well, since this dare isn't exactly what I was hoping for, I've modified it, like how the author mentioned.

**Hawkheart:** (stops chasing Songpaw) Le gasp! Shadow broke th—

**Shadowwing:** You're going to try to say that in every epicsode, huh? (throws a massive salmon at Hawk)

**Hawkheart:** (is knocked out for the millionth time)

**Shadowwing:** (sighs) These jokes are getting old. Anyways, I've modified this dare. It's by Milkytail, and the basic idea is that Firestar and Graystripe have to fight over a mouse, and Milkytail has to break it up. Any who, here we go! Songpaw, hit it will you?

**Songpaw:** (holds up fish that he stole back from Hawky. Presses a red button on it)

**Shadowwing:** I'm not going to question that…

_Flat screen TV (recently fixed by Songpaw because of a previous incident *cough**cough*) appears randomly. On the screen:_

_**In Thuderclan…**_

**Bramblestar:** (gapes at Firestar, who seems to have come back to life and is stuck in a cage with Graystripe. There is one mouse in the middle of the cage) Huh?

**Firestar:** It seems like I've come back because of some sort of dare. Gah… I'm hungry.

**Graystripe:** Me too…

**Bramblestar:** Seems like I'm not allowed to give you guys food.

**Firestar:** Are we allowed to eat that mouse?

**Bramblestar:** Seems like it.

**Firestar:** Ok (reaches for it)

**Graystripe:** (head butts Fire) Nu! I want to eat it!

**Firestar:** But I want to eat it!

**Graystripe:** I do too!

**Firestar:** So? I want to too! Then I can go back to Starclan and dream more about Spottedleaf! Oh…

**Sandstorm:** (appears out of the elder's den) WHAT? YOU STILL DREAM ABOUT THAT _*BLEEP*_ TREE-HUGGING_*BLEEP*_CHICKEN_*BLEEP*_COMPUTER_*BLEEP*_OVERLY-OLD_*BLEEP*_SANTA CLAUS_*BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP*_ BUCKET_*BLEEP*_EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE A MATE?_? _(eye twitches and returns to den to pout)

**Firestar:** Huh… That was totally expected. Hey Graystr—(notices the mouse gone and eye twitches as well) YOU _*BLEEP*_ TREE-HUGGING_*BLEEP*_CHICKEN_*BLEEP*_COMPUTER_*BLEEP*_OVERLY-OLD_*BLEEP*_SANTA CLAUS_*BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP*_ BUCKET_*BLEEP*-_

**Graystripe:** (grins)

**Milkytail:** (appears out of nowhere) Come on, you guys, stop fighting.

**Firestar:** (turns to her, eyes wide with rage. Then he turns to Graystripe, who nodded.)

**Gray and Fire:** (grabs Milky and pulls her into the cage. A giant dust cloud appears, and hissing and growls could be heard.)

_**Back at the Studio**_

**Shadowwing:** (winces) Ouch… I think it was a bad idea to try out this dare. Songpaw, go take care of it, will you?

**Songpaw:** (creepy grin, then poofs away)

**Shadowwing:** Well, as Songpaw deals with this situation, we'll move on to another dare.

**Hawkheart:** This dare was submitted by WoodWad, "Make ashfur and brambleclaw be stuck in a room together!" However, to make things more interesting, we will be chaining them up on opposite sides of the room. So, here it goes!

_Everyone walks to the other side of the studio. Ashfur and Brambleclaw/star are chained on opposite sides of the room, both seemingly asleep_.

**Shadowwing:** (pulls out a trumpet and loudly plays a tune)

**Bramble and Ash:** (is rudely awoken, and heads manage to slightly brush. They see each other)

**Bramblestar:** YOU!

**Ashfur: **YOU!

**Bramblestar:** (hisses) What are you doing here? I thought Hollyleaf killed you!

**Ashfur:** I don't think we should be worrying about that right now. Why are we chained?

**Bramblestar:** Why do we know what chains are?

**Ashfur:** Why can we speak in English?

**Bramblestar:** Why are we talking in interrogative sentences?

**Ashfur:** I don't know.

**Bramblestar:** Nu! You broke the chain of sentences!

**Ashfur:** Huh? How? I don't see and chains of sentences…

**Bramblestar:** (face walls)

**Ashfur:** I still don't get it.

**Shadowwing:** JUST START ARGUING ABOUT SQUIRRELFLIGHT ALREADY! (glares)

**Bramble and Ash:** Meep…

**Bramblestar:** So erm… I hate you I guess?

**Ashfur:** Yeah. Sure.

**Bramblestar:** Well…. Um…. That's it I guess. Can you let us go now?

**Shadowwing:** What? You guys are not going to fight? I thought you guys hated each other because of Squirrel.

**Bramblestar:** Yeah. That is, until she betrayed both of us. Now we're best buddies!

**Ashfur:** Ya!

**Shadowwing:** Well, that was unexpected. But, the dare must go on!

**Hawkheart:** How cheesy…

**Shadowwing:** (tosses a fish towards Hawk)

**Hawkheart:** (gets hit right on the face) Gah!

**Shadowwing:** I'm going to run out of fresh fish soon. Maybe I'll use books?

**Hawkheart:** Oh boy. Here come the unnecessary references to Soul Eater…

**Shadowwing:** (ignores) Oh, I've got it! Go get Squirrelflight, will you Hawky?

**Hawkheart:** (mutters) I thought Songpaw was your slave not me…

**Shadowwing:** (randomly takes out a book and whams Hawk with it on the head) Shadow-chop!

**Hawkheart:** (rolls on the floor in pain) I knew that would happen… Curse the author for ever reading Soul Eater.

**Shadowwing:** (smirks) Now it's you who broke the fourth wall.

**Squirrelflight:** (randomly appears with Songpaw) You wanted me?

**Shadowwing:** Yes, yes. Now please go inside of that room and just sit there. Don't move.

**Squirrelflight:** Ok. (walks in, and instantly KOs because of two insanely-hating-Squirrelflight cats)

**Ash and Bramble:** (high-fives)

**Shadowwing:** Great. Lack of humor, and extremely lame, short plots and dares, this will really drive the author insane…

**Songpaw:** Shadow? I've dealed with Fire and Gray. Milky is entirely fine. Because of the speed in which the two fighting cats where circling each other, desperately trying to bite the other's tail, Milky was swept up by the current of air, therefore somehow defying the laws of gravity and floated for most of the time of the fight. Fire and Gray will—

**Shadowwing:** Ok, ok! No need to go into detail. As long as if our guest will not sue us, I'm perfectly fine. Hawky, however, will probably need to go to the hospital for a while. (smirks, and holds out her book)

**Songpaw:** Ah… I see. Soul Eater references and fish? An unlikely combination, but normal for Shadow. That result is totally expected. (smiles)

**Shadowwing:** So, that wraps up today's epicsode.

**Songpaw:** See you next time on…

**ALL:** INSERT!

**Sorry guys, for the late update, as well as the lack of a short story. But, the actual epicsode is pretty long, so I'm sure you guys will be satisfied.**

**I won't be able to update for a while, because of parties and camp. But I'll try my best **

**Please R&R, as well as submit story and dare ideas. Thanks!**


End file.
